I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
