got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
