you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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