I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize