I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
