you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am one with the molecules
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
