her vagine was all disorganized.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
