It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I party with great urgency now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
