The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
