this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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