Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize