Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
