The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
