You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
