How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Use "feeling words"
Yay
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
