i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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