He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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