Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
