God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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