PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
