ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
