from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
