i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I party with great urgency now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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