I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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