I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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