If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
