please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize