I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
