Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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