I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
