im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
