All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize