how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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