just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
