in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
