Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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