Duck Duck Cougar?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
