I just pynch a tree in the face
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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