some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize