I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
