If i come over, it means nothing
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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