you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
