you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
