I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
