just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
