When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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