my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
