no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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