If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
