drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
