I faked an abortion last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
