I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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