school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone owes me an orgasm
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
