OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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