I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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