Small penises have feelings too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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