After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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