we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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