you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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