Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
