Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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